Time Travel? No Thanks
by Mystical Pie
Summary: "Let me guess: You're a god and wish to give me another chance at life to fix my mistakes." "Ye- wait, what?" "No thanks." "WAIT WHAT?" In which Lelouch wants nothing to do with going back, with references to Fate/GO and serious fourth wall breaking. One Shot.


When Lelouch had finally died at the hands of his best friend, Suzaku Kururugi, he hadn't expected to wake up in the World of C. Although it would be fitting that it would end in the same place that it had all started. In that sense, it wasn't very surprising, and nobody was better at hiding their emotions than Lelouch had become in the few months where he was forced to play the part of a villain. The part which he so very much despised, despite knowing it was necessary. It had nearly killed him to see his friends, comrades, and even family turn their backs on him, although they were never truly with him in the first place, he dryly supposed.

But Nunnally. The pure look of disgust and fear. That had been the strongest blow to his facade, no doubt. But once it was all over, as he slid down the stage which he had so carefully crafted over the past few months, he knew he would be forgiven. Maybe not by the world at large, but that didn't matter. No, the only one that mattered was Nunnally. As long as she had forgiven him, he was happy. The way she called out to him, her declaration of love had done more to bring a smile onto his face than world peace ever could. It was selfish, he supposed in the end. He had done all this just to see his sister smile, and in the end he made her cry. But he had accomplished his final goal, or at least he hoped so.

"Lelouch Vi Britannia, 11th prince of the Holy Britannian Empire and 17th in line to the throne." A voice came out from behind him. It was deep and commanding, and reverberated throughout the entire ruins. He turned and saw something that should've surprised him, but honestly didn't. It was the goddamned symbol, the Code Geass symbol he had grown so familiar with. A sigil in the mark of a bird, ready to take off. And now a voice came from it, as if it was completely natural, recognizing him by his royal name.

"I no longer go by that title. You are misinformed if you believe that I am the same person. I am-" He was cut off when the voice once began to talk.

It continued without regard to his statement, "Lelouch Lamperouge, student of Ashford academy."

"What are you playing at, here? Who do you think you are?" A theory had already begun to form in his head, but he needed to be sure.

"Zero, leader of the Japanese rebellion and worldwide terrorist."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes, letting it continue.

"And finally once again, Lelouch Vi Britannia, 99th Emperor to the Holy Britannian Empire. The world owes you a great debt."

The world owed him? Could this mean he had succeeded? It had to, there was no other reason as to why the voice would tell him this. And by this he knew exactly where this voice was headed.

It was a risk, although he was already likely dead so he no longer feared much.

"Let me guess: You're god and wish to give me another chance at life to fix my mistakes."

"Ye- wait, what?" The voice lost some of its commanding tone, and Lelouch smiled as he hit the nail right on the head. For a deity, this 'god' was awfully inept in the whole "omnipotent business". Although if it truly were a god, the sword of Akasha would be unable to do anything anyways. What kind of god allowed a weapon to exist where it could destroy them?

"Yeah, no thanks." He gave another smirk as the god lost even more ground in the verbal battle.

"WAIT, WHAT?" It was still deep and commanding, but infinitely less so. Lelouch was on a roll, and he wouldn't stop there.

"You said the world owed me a debt, correct? Then I would take it that I succeeded. I have no more reason to go back in time. Besides, that's not my style."

"Do you even realize the opportunity you've been given? No mortal has been given this honor since King Arthur himself! I am giving you a chance to save all those you loved, all who died under you. You saved me from your annoying father and mother, and so I have decided to save you from yourself," The voice had regained its commanding tone, but it no longer intimidated Lelouch.

"Hmph, even with the gift of foresight, King Arthur still failed. His status has been reduced to little more than a cute waifu in a gacha game, albeit a successful one with several anime adaptations. But even then she's not even the best waifu. The only 'opportunity' here is the chance to fail even harder than before. I'm not risking the world I risked so hard to create just so I can see my friends or sister once more. I'm not that naive, and I'm not that selfish."

The deity stood(floated?) silent for several moments, "Very well."

"Hmm? So you finally gave up in trying to make me do your stupid time travel act? I know how you immortals act, always looking for the next source of entertainment. But I'm above that, and you best rememb- AHHHH!"

It sighed, almost in defeat, "It seems I must force you. Sorry, but the higher-ups want this. Although you're right, it will most certainly be entertaining."

"You bastard! I thought you were a god, what higher-up could exist?" Lelouch screamed as he was getting pulled into a vortex. Which, by the way, is not a pleasant experience if you asked him.

"Nah, there's always a higher-up. In this case, it's the author who's really in charge of this entire world. And this one's got a particular mean streak. Or maybe he really does want the best for you. Either way, it's not my place to try and understand an entity above me. See ya, I'll be watching from here with margaritas and popcorn.

Never mind that he was getting sucked into a vortex. Never mind that there was an being above even a god(although it made sense for this 'god'). Never mind that margaritas and popcorn was a disastrous combination almost certain to make you puke. No, never mind all of that. What was seriously freaking out Lelouch was the fact that he wasn't even freaking out. On the outside, yes. But at this point, he had gotten so used to his life twisting and turning at every possible point that it felt like his life was all one big drama on television. As if that didn't already cause enough existential crisis, now he was about to go through it again! He had gotten so used to the whole absurdity of life that this was just another plot twist at his expense. **That's** what made him so panicked. He swore that if he ever met up with Charles or Marianne, he would personally assist them in destroying this so called 'god' and making it pay. On the bright side, hopefully Euphemia and Shirley would be alive, along with a bunch of other non-important side characters(Although honestly, he couldn't really consider Shirley a main character other than the time she'd almost exposed him. Wait, was that why? So she could be important? Well, it certainly worked.). Hopefully. He didn't actually know how long ago he was getting sent back. If his guess were correct and they almost always were — except for when he wasn't — he would be sent back to when he met C.C., if only to spite him or because most writers were too lazy to do something actually original with their time travel fanfics. Great. This was going to be one hell of a ride.

* * *

Well, that's that. Probably won't continue it. Just a crackfic that I wrote while trying to avoid the fact that I haven't done anything productive during the summer yet. This counts, right? Right? Anyways, hope you enjoyed it, and feel free to leave a review, they help tremendously.


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